Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Don't tell me you're on acid again
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
