I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
