Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
