Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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