Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
