im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
