There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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