I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
