I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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