Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
