I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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