i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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