I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
