i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
