garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
