Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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