So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
