Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize