As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
