Fuck appropriateness.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
