C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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