i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
