Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
