I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
FUCK WHALES
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