I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
