the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i think im in europe. pls send help
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
