The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
