If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
