I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
