there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
