I didn't shave. On purpose
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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