I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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