I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
