I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
