I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize