Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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