why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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