he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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