When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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