Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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