Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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