You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
