I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
