I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
