You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Houston, we have a squirter
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You were trust falling into bushes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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