they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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