wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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