I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
