apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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