90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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