Do you still have your period?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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