operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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