was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
