Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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