I have demons in me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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