You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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