Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
