I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
