The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize