I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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