do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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