whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
