the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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