Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
