whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
